Someone died alone at home: the first calls to make

Before you call anyone, take a breath

You do not have to fix anything in the next ten minutes. If you have just arrived and found the person, call emergency services first. Say clearly that the person has died and that you are at the address. They will tell you what to do while help is on the way.

Do not move the person or tidy the room. Do not start sorting papers or clearing the kitchen. Leave things as they are until you are told otherwise. If there is a pet in the house, close it in another room so it does not get in the way.

The first calls, in order

1. Emergency services, if you have not already. Give the address, your name and what you found.
2. One family member or close friend. Ask them to come to you, not to start calling everyone.
3. The person's doctor or clinic, if the responders ask for a medical contact. They may want the person's recent health details.
4. Your own employer or a trusted person, so someone knows where you are today.

Keep the calls short. You will repeat the same facts several times, and that is normal. Write down names and reference numbers as people give them to you.

What happens when help arrives

Responders will confirm the death and ask you questions about the person's health, their age, and when you last saw them. Answer what you know. If you do not know, say so.

In many places, a death at home is handled by official services before anything else can move forward. The responders will explain the next step for your area. Follow their instructions rather than advice from neighbors or the internet.

The people who need to hear it from you

Once the official steps are underway, call the person's closest people yourself. A short, plain sentence is enough: "I'm so sorry. Dad died at home this morning. I'm with him now." Then say what you know about next steps, or that you will call again when you do.

Ask one relative to pass the news to a wider circle so you are not making the same call twenty times. Keep a simple list of who has been told so nobody is missed and nobody hears it twice by accident.

If the person worked, call their employer. If they rented, call the landlord or building manager. If they had a carer or a cleaner who comes regularly, let them know so they do not arrive to a shock.

What can wait until tomorrow

• Bank accounts, cards and bills. Nothing needs paying tonight.
• Email, social media and phone accounts. Leave them for now.
• The person's papers and drawers. Do not start sorting.
• The will. It matters, but not in the first hours.
• Funeral arrangements. You can begin thinking about them once the official steps are clear.

If you are staying in the house, take what you need for the night: medication, a phone charger, a change of clothes. Lock up when you leave. If the person lived alone with valuables, ask a neighbor or relative to keep an eye on the place, but do not move things out yet.

Write it down as you go

Keep one notebook or a note on your phone. Write the time you arrived, who you called, what each person told you, and any reference numbers. In the coming days you will be asked the same questions by different offices, and this note will save you from trying to remember.

If the person left a sealed envelope or a folder marked for this, you do not have to open it tonight. The People to call list inside it will help tomorrow, when you start telling the wider circle and the person's workplace. Our guide to the first 48 hours covers the next day in more detail.

Looking after yourself today

Eat something, even if it is small. Drink water. Tell one person how you are doing, not just what needs doing. If you have to make decisions and your head feels foggy, write the question down and come back to it in an hour.

You do not have to be efficient today. You have to get through it, and you will.